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Distractions and Diversions
These things are daily events that take place inside the Jagex building to keep their workers entertained 24/7 with little work done petty little attempts to make RuneScape less repetitive. No really, what are they? Well, how do we put this? Let's say a player is randomly training a skill using an inefficient method he/she/it would normally never use, or let's say a player is randomly visiting summoning obelisks just for the lolz, once in a while(a term which means a few years/months/weeks/hours when used in the context of Jagex/Runescape) they might encounter something that is meant to distract them. Why distract players from playing Runescape? Because even Jagex knows their game sucks; but rather than release updates which might actually improve gameplay and provide worthwhile training methods to the skills that need them, they think it's best to divert all your attention away from the game as it slowly dies. (What? It's still alive at this point?!) List of D&Ds so far *Shooting Star - some random star from the sky falls down and instantly kills a player while giving the surrounding players the ability to mine its cosmic dust. Space radiation and microbes later kill these, so it's a lose-lose situation. These started out as an ok way to get Mining exp but then certain clans started yelling "ZOMFG PRETTY COLOURS!" while rushing over to kill the annoying celebrity rumoured to be in the center of the stardom. *Balthazar Beauregard's Big Top Bonanza - Pedobear put on a creepy red suit and makes you dance for the amusement of the cast of Deliverance. *Evil Tree - A leprechaun, for no particular reason, finds himself out in the middle of the forest and, again for no particular reason, asks you to kill a tree that is just minding its own business. The only worthwhile reward for this D&D is the sheer violence involved in the decapitation of an innocent tree. A better name for this D&D is All Gore since not only is it so violent but it will also make you A.Gorephobic *Penguin Hide and Seek- Main hangout of Pengfappers, and source of easy experience every week. It is partly because of the fappers that all new D&Ds have shitty rewards. So if you want to risk seeing things that shouldn't be seen get all hyped up over things which they think they shouldn't be seeing (but actually would be able to potentially see if they had the balls to walk out their front door once in a while,) then you might want to consider doing the Swine Flew er, Cold War quest. *Ancient Effigies - This one's special and was probably created completely by accident. One theory states that after the first Bonus Exp Weekend, some players were not pleased that exp rates weren't ****ed up all the time. Seeing this, The Great Ditto took it upon himself to get the Bonus Exp Weekend really eff-ed up by sticking his nose in where Summoning exp doesn't belong. The result? Little toys that will eat your brains and eff up your stats in exchange for "knowledge." *Tears of Guthix - Guthix can be very emotional at times, especially when there's war involved. "Why can't we all just sit together as one, drop our pants and **** each other??? WHY?!?!?!... LEAVE ZAMMY ALONE!!" *Shattered Heart - Also known as Kids Playing with Rocks, this D&D was meant to encourage you to train several skills at once. However, some of the rocks can not be obtained using training methods which common-sense dictates you should use. This D&D was also somehow involved in the death of the Hitpoints skill. *Treasure Trails - Adds millions of gold into the game for free, and economists aren't even giving a shit about it. (Ack! I can't see it! I can't see it! What is this taco you speak of? - Axers8) *Phoenix Lair - Requires completion of a quest with no storyline, amusement or challenge. Basically you fight a barbequed chicken with an overinflated ego who takes one whole day to come back to life. Wow, that must be a new record for slowest respawn rate ever! *Fish Flingers - Wait, this isn't a D&D it's a minigame! No it's a D&D! Minigame! Ok, what are its rewards? Some useless crap... Then it's a D&D! *Familiarization - First you have to find some random freak who will be hanging out at one particular summoning obelisk for no apparent reason. When you do find him(you'd have better luck winning the lottery,) you get to play through a graphical disaster filled with glitches and OICWUTUDIDNTDODARE. Not really worth worrying about, in fact, it wasn't even worth developing! *Court Cases, just like real lawyers, you can be summoned to court by stealing, fishing and killing things but unlike real D&Ds you can only complete this once. Since it had quest-like mechanics for a while, this actually seemed to be more like a series of miniquests than a D&D. When someone pointed this out, Jagex decided to screw everyone over by adding a 2 week waiting period between each case. Oh yes, it's definitely a D&D now. *Champion's Challenge - also originally a miniquest. the odds of receiving a champion scroll drop is estimated to be 1 in over 9000. Despite this rarity in the drop, the bosses are incredibly weak. This D&D is actually involved in the Pmod selection process (where do you think "Champions of the Community" comes from?) Other "D&Ds" *Skeletal Horror - Apparently this isn't a D&D but let's look at the facts. It can only be killed once per week and the reward for doing so is shit. Yep, definitely a D&D! *Commander Zilyana, this D&D has certain requirements which will not be discussed in this article, gives no experience with women or the social skills for that matter *The "other" penguin hide and seek, see above^ *World Of Warcraft - if you really want to distract yourself from the grind of playing Prunescape then this is the way to go. *Dungeoneering - The players were wrong, Dungeoneering isn't a minigame or a skill. 'D'ungeons of 'D'aemonheim, remember? *Dungeons and Dragons - RAWR! YOU STOLE DUNG FROM ME!! Category:Distractions and Diversions